CHAPTER 17

.....Tanya touched his arm and indicated ahead: “Take a left up here.”
.....Wolfe signaled left and started to turn, then changed his mind as the monster truck roared up behind them, the rearview mirror igniting with a blaze of light as the vehicle rode up on their ass, and then swerved out, around and passed them.
.....“That boy’s a little young to be working on the penis envy complex,” he observed.
.....Tanya gave him an odd look. “You know...”
.....He signaled left again. With a screech of rubber, a patrol Humvee pulled out behind them from a side street, lights flashing...
........Wolfe pulled aside to let him pass...
........but The Humvee pulled up behind him.
.....Wolfe glanced back and made an inarticulate gesture towards the fading taillights of the monster truck. “Hello?”
.....He turned off the engine and settled back with a sigh. “Shit.”
.....“What is it?” Tanya glanced back at the Humvee, then turned back to eye him curiously.
.....Wolfe glanced over at her as he dug out his papers. Again.
.....“This is the second time today.”
.....With a clink of over-accessorized Sam Browne belt, and the click of jackboot heels, the officer approached the Valiant.
.....Wolfe waited with papers in hand as the officer approached his vehicle. The cop leaned down, hand on the roof. He brought with him a wave of cheap cologne and Wolfe tried not to sneeze. It took an effort and his eyes began to water.
.....The cop’s mirrored aviator shades glinted in the headlights of the Hummer. He was the spitting image of the first cop...although this one sported a neatly-trimmed blond mustache.
.....A line from that stupid Corey Hart song began to play in Wolfe’s mind. “Cus you got it made with the guy in the shades, oh no...”
.....The guy who wore his sunglasses at night leaned down to his window. “License and regis...”
.....Wolfe handed them over.
.....The mustache twitched. “Hm. Been through this a lot, huh?”
.....He looked over the license at Tanya.
.....“Evening, Tanya.”
.....She nodded back. “Clyde.”
.....Wolfe kept his irritation at bay, voice level. “Today, yeah.”
.....“I noticed that your taillight was flickering.”
.....“I already got a ticket for that. A few hours ago.”
.....Clyde examined at the ticket, then handed it back. “Nope, you got a ticket for the right taillight. I pulled you over for the left one.”
.....“Then he put down the wrong one.”
.....“Could be.” He eyed Wolfe suspiciously and brought up his Mag-Light. Wolfe winced and turned his head away from the blast of light. “You been drinking?”
.....“No, why?”
.....“Your eyes are red.” The cop sniffed. “Been smoking the grass?”
.....“The what?”
.....“The reefer. The Mary Jane. The...”
.....Tanya sighed. “He’s okay, Clyde.”
.....Clyde paused dubiously. Wolfe sneezed. A big whopping one, followed quickly by two more. If he didn’t get some breeze going through the car and soon, the cop’s cologne was going to kill him.
.....“Allergies,” he offered after the bout had passed. Clyde nodded.
.....“You might wanna pick up something for that down at the Kwickie...” He paused thoughtfully. “Doc Taylor might get you something for that in the morning.”
.....He handed Wolfe the ticket and, after glancing through them one more time, the license and registration.
.....Wolfe looked at the ticket, then back up to the cop. “This is bullshit, you know.”
.....The cop shrugged. “Take it to court.”
.....“Let it go, Dan,” Tanya cautioned.
.....Dan ignored her. “When’s that?”
.....“The fifteenth of each month.”
.....“This is the seventeenth.”
.....Clyde checked his watch. “Yes, it is.”
.....“And if I don’t pay it?”
.....Clyde finally smiled. “Then we put out a bench warrant for your arrest, a failure-to-appear.”
.....He waited to see if Wolfe had anything to add. Wolfe sighed and tucked the ticket in the dashbox with his registration. He looked back to Clyde.
.....“All good?”
.....Clyde nodded. “All good.”
.....He headed back towards the Humvee, then paused at the sight of Mike approaching on the sidewalk.
.....The boy seemed a little wobbly.
.....“Hey!” Clyde called out to the boy. Mike turned to consider him.
.....“Curfew,” the cop noted, looking pointedly at his wristwatch.
.....“I’m almost there.”
.....“Is ‘there’ your home?”
.....“Yeah.”
.....“You been drinking?”
.....Mike looked at him like the man had just asked if he still believed in Santa Claus. “I’m not old enough to drink.”
.....Clyde considered that. “Oh... okay. Just get home or I’ll have to take you home. Capiche?”
.....Mike nodded tiredly and continued on. Clyde scaled the Hummer and slammed the door shut behind him and fired up the engine.
.....Wolfe watched in the rearview mirror as the emergency lights were doused. “Did he just give me a ticket for using my turn signal?”
.....“Nobody uses ’em around here. Everyone already knows where everyone else is going.”
.....The Humvee pulled away from the curve, passed them and roared on.

.....Tanya’s house was a demure cottage, straight out of a post-Victorian Americana housing catalog. Painted a soft cream with beige trim. Gables. Mandatory white picket fence with a row of roses included, of course.
.....The Valiant parked at the curb, Wolfe opened the door for Tanya, closed it behind her. She looked up to her house, then back to Wolfe with a lowered sidelong glance.
.....“Do you like ice cream?”
.....“Yeah,” he shrugged. Who doesn’t?
.....“It’s still early,” Tanya said, glancing at her watch. “Gilmore’s is still open. Let’s walk downtown.”